Chapter 10

Randall just stared at him. They’d been sitting there on the heap of bedding and mattresses in their (now shared) room for several minutes since MIchael had told Randall about Jo’s revelation to him, and so far, Randall hadn’t said a word. Michael was trying hard not to push, but the tension was about to make him cry, or yell, or get up, or...

“Stop it, Michael. Just...stop. You’re exhausting me. Just..go sit or practice something, or figure out how to get Ra’Cha her ship back, or, create some incredible new thing that makes Gryth’s fur stand on end. Just...go somewhere. I need to think, and I can’t do it with you sitting there expecting at me. And don’t go tell the boys. Just...give me a little time.”  Randall stroked his fingers over his own wing where the new star, where their child lay. He reached out and gave Michael a gentle push. “Go. Don’t be stupid. I love you. I just need a minute.”

Michael nodded, kissed Randall on the forehead and left the room.

He was all the way to the library, near the other side of the ship, before Randall completely lost his shit. Brent and Paul ran into the room bare seconds after heaps of charred fabric and foam batting exploded out the door of Randall and Michael’s cabin, to find Randall standing there, energy crackling off his wings. A wild vortex of crackling flame and song danced through the room, picking up pieces of it and spewing them forth in all directions.  

Brent ducked a flying piece of flaming mattress and a chunk of...table? that got hurled toward the door, and shoved Paul to the side, where he’d be safe behind the wall. “Randall?”  “Randal.”  “RAAAAAANDAAAALLLL!”

Randall looked over at him, startled, as though he hadn’t noticed they even existed. His eyes were wild. The stars that shone so softly in them blazed and crackled almost audibly. Brent flinched. “Randall. I need you to calm down. You need to get it under control.”

“I. CAN’T. IT’S...I-  DO YOU KNOW... GODDAMMIT!”  The remains of the desk, which had been sitting on end in the corner, exploded into splinters. Brent ducked, but they all bounced off the shield Paul had quietly raised in the doorway. Paul looked a question at Brent, and Brent shook his head.

“Randall, take a deep breath. Nice and slow. Listen to me. Just focus on my voice. It’s ok. Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it. Look at me. See me. We’re ok. Do you want me to get Michael?”

“NO.” The word thundered through the room, blowing what little was left in there to small scraps and splinters. Paul gritted his teeth to keep the shield in place. Behind him, he felt Gryth’s hand land on his shoulder, and the shield slowly, subtly reinforced itself.

“Randall. Look at me. You have to put it away. Let go of the stars. Let it go.You could hurt the baby. You don’t want to hurt the baby. Look at me. Come here.”

Brent held out a hand, brushing it up against the shield. Randall looked uncertain, then the fire in his eyes died. The vortex in the room disappeared with a boom of in-rushed air that cracked Paul’s shield with the unexpected pull against it. Randall ran to Brent and collapsed against him. Brent pulled him in, soothing his wings, pulling his hair away from his face, and said softly. “If he hurt you-”

Randall shook his head. “It’s...it’s not his fault.”  Paul could barely understand him. Randall was choking out his words around tears and gasps for breath. Randall grabbed Brent’s shirt and locked eyes with him. “But he’ll never be mine. Never. Someone else will always get there first. Something will always happen. There’s always gonna be some massive. Cosmic. SHIT that needs him more than I do. Always. And I can’t stop him. Because if I stop him, then he isn’t him. I love him. I love that heroic little shit, but God-dammit.  Just...God-dammit, Brent.”  He collapsed against him again and his crying softened. Brent looked at Paul, who nodded. Brent picked Randall up, scooping him across his body like a child, and carried him to their room, where he sat him on the bed.

Paul and Gryth followed. Paul whispered in Gryth’s ear. Gryth’s answer was snarled.

“The cub didn’t feel it. He’s locked in the library with his head buried in old ship’s manuals and a stack of dictionaries. You know how focused he gets. And I warded this all off the second I got there and realized it was just a tantrum.”

Paul spluttered for a second. “A tanrtrum? Did you see?”

“A Tantrum. Old Thomas destroyed an entire gymnasium once after a fight with his wife. It happens. Get to be as old as I am, and deal with powers at this level, and you’ll get used to it.”

Paul’s muttered “I certainly hope not” brought a grin to Gryth’s face. Gryth sat on the floor. “So. Do you want to tell me WHY I need to go threaten to gut my favorite cub?”

Randall tried to smile and managed a grimace. “It’s not... It’s not his fault. Just...It’s all stuff only he can do right? Librarian?  Michael. Next Archmage? Michael. First Starchild? Michael. Wingborn Mage? Michael. Bone sword for killing the Lady? Michael. Freaking Avatar of the Freaking Song? Of COURSE that’s gonna be Michael. Why would I expect anything different?”

He looked up, past the three of them, and they all knew, suddenly, that Michael was standing there. “But you know what else you are? You’re my lover. And my husband. And the father of my child. And I get a claim, too. When do I get to come first, Michael? When?”

Michael started to speak several times, trying to find the right words. After a moment, Randall got up, disgusted, to leave the room, but Paul gently put his hand on his chest to stop him. “Give him a minute. He’s not good at this part. Wait. It’ll come.”

Michael had tears running down his face by the time he managed to choke something out. “You...I love you more than anything. And our baby...I  Randall, I feel him. Constantly. He’s singing inside my skin now. And you. I can feel you. Don’t you know that? Can’t you feel me?”  

Randall shook his head. Michael held out his hand, and Randall reluctantly set his on it. Michael’s face relaxed. He sighed softly and pulled Randall to him. “How about now?” Randall’s eyes widened.

“You... you can feel that?”

Michael nodded. “I’ve felt if for a while, but Jo was showing...It doesn’t matter. Yes. I can feel you. And him. And I love you so much I feel like I’m going to burst. But that’s not magic. I always love you like that. I always want to always touch you. I’ve felt like that since the second week I knew you. I knew it when I put all those spells on the stairs.When I showed up on your doorstep, when we went flying in the stars. It’s always you. Screw Jo. Screw destiny, and the tribunal, and the lady and the empress and everything else. Say the word, and I’ll give the sword to Gryth and we’ll go find a corner of the universe no one is watching and we’ll go there together and get old and fat and ugly and have a million kids. I want to have your kid, too. Kids. Lots of them. Just tell me.”

Randall held onto Michael so tight Paul wondered how either of them could breathe. They stood like that for what seemed, to the three others trapped in the room, like forever.  Then Randall pushed Michael away, playfully. “Bullshit. You’re just horny.”

“I AM NO-  Well, yes. Yes I am, but that’s not the point. I won’t do this if you say no. I won’t lose you.”  He winked outrageously. “You’re too good in bed.”

“Ass.” Randall was grinning.

“Yours is better.”

“It is.”

They stood there looking at each other. Randall broke their silence. “I just...Will you be you? Can you really take one more thing? When do you become someone else Michael? When do you become one of them, and suddenly you don’t really love me anymore? When does the universe stop coming first if you do this?”

Michael shook his head. “I don’t know. But I know something about saving the world.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s where my husband and my baby live. And my friends. And I’ll do whatever it takes to keep them safe.”

“Even if it means giving up yourself.”

“Even if. If the world wants to hurt you, it has to get through me. And I’ll do anything, everything to stop that from happening. Always.”

“You’re an idiot.”

Michael nodded.

“If I tell you to tell Jo to fuck off, right here, right now, you’ll do it?”

Michael nodded.

Randall stared at him. “Don’t. Just..do what you have to do. It would haunt you forever if you didn’t do everything you could. I know that. But-”

“I know.”

“Do you?”

Michael nodded, then hugged Randall tightly to him. He whispered in his ear. “I know. I love you.”

Randall pulled himself away, and went to sit on the bed by Brent. “Then go tell her yes.”

Michael started to open his mouth. Randall cut him off. “Not here. Go somewhere else. I don’t care where. But not here. And you tell her she can’t have you yet. When you leave. Then she can do it.”

Michael nodded, turned and left the room.

Brent sat next to Randall for almost a minute before he couldn’t take it anymore. “TELL HER WHAT???”